Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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