I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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