Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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