Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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