Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
