I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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