I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
