someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
