Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
