Pappa wants mamma naked
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
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