Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
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