I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
