I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Randomize
