Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
