Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
