My brain says no but my pants say off.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
