hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
