So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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