My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
We talked him into tasing himself.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Randomize
