I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
