So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
