Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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