Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Randomize
