white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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