I think im going to throw up on grandma
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
