puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Randomize
