We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
