my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Your penis caused this!
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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