Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Just pee around me
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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