FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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