yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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