try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
