Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
