She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
