Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
its not stalking. its research.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize
