Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
