I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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