Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
