I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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