also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Randomize
