when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
