white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
