we're chasing vodka with high fives
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
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