Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
