she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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