Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
