You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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