So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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