so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
