she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
